Saturday, October 3, 2009

"sooner or later life will kill us all" R.Mullins

I sit here, and I wonder.

As a Christian, I look back at my past and I gasp, and go "was I?" Thank Jesus, that salvation isn't dependent on my Christian Resume. I weep over my sin.

I look in the mirror and I go, "Jesus, how can you love a ragamuffin like me?" But he does. Thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you.

I am an achiever, I am a planner, I am an actor, writer, comedian, actor, producer, wanna be preacher, truthfully I am a wanna be at all those things, wanna be lover of Jesus. I do sometimes. I wish I did all the time. I get in the way a lot.

When I think about the preaching of Mark Driscoll, the passion of John Piper, the writing of Brennan Manning, and the life of Rich Mullins I am compelled. I see in all of my hero's of the faith a hunger, a humility, and a love for Jesus that compels me to follow Jesus with all of me, and at the same time none of me.

I hunger to obey Jesus, and drop my nets, stop what I'm doing, and obey Jesus in taking up my cross.

The application for me: I don't know. I guess that's the big question of life. Some have picked a road. Some haven't. I'd like to think I kind of have, but I'm not sure if it's the right one. I just hunger to be about Jesus in all I do. Maybe I could work at Dairy Queen, sweep floors, preach sermons and if Jesus was truly the main occupant of my heart I would be content.

I guess I'll start there.

"Jesus be the occupant of my heart. Amen."

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